Terry and Tessa are a middle-aged married couple living in the Bay Area. They are exit counselors who have been forced into early retirement. An "exit counselor" is a professional who is contracted by families to kidnap people away from dangerous cults so they can be "deprogrammed" at a secure location. Terry and Tessa's cryptic motto during their often verbally and physically abusive deprogramming process: "Raise Your Kids on Seltzer, Bubble per Bubble!" They have fallen out of favor in this profession in the years since their 1970's and 80's heyday, when cults were "booming" the most in San Francisco. There is even a festering lawsuit filed by a disgruntled client following in their wake. For the last fifteen years, to make ends meet, they produce stylish, unintentionally humorous corporate media. However, they are soon called back to do some exit counseling for one last, very special case. Raise Your Kids on Seltzer is a tender, funny, certainly quirky, and occasionally frightening comedy-drama mainly about how people deal with becoming obsolete.
